What is real love? Does love restrict freedom?

Here is a mistake that most people make in their relationships with others. They try to build a steady nesting place in the ever-moving stream of life. Think of someone whose love you desire. Do you want to be important to this person, to be especial and make a difference to his/her life? Do you want this person to care for you and be concerned about you in a special way? If you do, open your eyes and see that you are foolishly inviting others to reserve you for themselves, to restrict your freedom for their benefit, to control your behavior, your growth and development so that it will suit their interest. It is as if the other person said to you, “If you want to be especial to me then you must meet my conditions. Because the moment you cease to live up to my expectations, you will cease to be especial.” You wanted to be especial to someone, didn’t you? So you must pay a price in lost freedom. You must dance to the other person’s tune just as you demand that other persons dance to yours if they want to be especial to you. (…)

For when you cling, what you offer the other is not love but a chain by which both you and your beloved are bound. Love can only exist in freedom. The true lover seeks the good of his beloved which requires especially the liberation of the beloved from the lover. (…)

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